It was probably the last drink that did it, definitely....

This is normally a complete lie, but in this case it´s true. I had a couple of cañas in some random bars with Paul, then we decided to go to the bar which is the home of the litre or "el litro" as I will affectionally call it from now on! So we both ordered a glass, despite Paul giving up drinking for January! He said he was only going to have one drink all night, it might as well be "el litro" then!! Haha! (Note to self: start weight training so "el litro" doesn´t seem quite as heavy), (Note to self about other note: possibly start exercising first then move onto weights, your lazy). After "el litro" we went to see little Pauli´s friend Agueda, no idea how to spell her name, doesn´t matter, you probably don´t know her, if you do please send me correct spelling. After that we walked randomly, and found our way somehow to the home of "el litro", funny that. Twas Pauli´s round, and he said "another litre?", now I realise he was joking, hmmm. Feeling confident and a little drunk (possibly due to the previous "el litro") I said "yep", as I sat down I realised that wasn´t a good idea, but by the time I stood up again to change my order, it was poured, I must have been thinking really slowly! So we sat down, Me with "el litro", Agueda with a tiny in comaprison caña and Pauli, now back on the wagon, a small feminine glass of water! I´ll draw a diagram one day! Maybe below this text, down there. In fact i´ll draw it now.

So now you see the faults of "paint", but I think it has that Picasso look about it, that´s what I was going for, obviously...
I really wasn´t looking forward to the aftermath of the second "el litro", but that´s life isn´t it, so I kept drinking, for some reason I aimed to finish it before Agueda finished her caña, tall order maybe, the first "el litro" was messing with my mind. By this time, my body just turned into a big beer processing plant, and my efficent self must have gone to the bathroom about 3 thousand times...the women´s bathroom no less. The other one has been broken since before Christmas, honest. Maybe because we stole the sign! Maybe there was some sort of knock on effect...like Chaos theory, on a bar sized scale. Or like the bible, the bathroom lost all its power without the sign, it´s lost it´s purpose in life, it´s reason to live, it´s identity, it can´t remember why it exists, amateur pychology club. Dabbling. Well, cut to the end, Getting slowly very drunk, and slowly building up the muscles in my drinking arm, I all of a sudden hiccupped. No problem, they usually come in ones anyway. But more came, probably invited by "el litro", how rude. And despite me teaching Pauli how to get rid of hiccups Zen style before Chrimbo, I couldn´t shake them, well sometimes I did, but they kept coming back. I put it down to the drink, but kept drinking. It was like a challenge, a mountain to be climbed, for only €2.50. Hiccups told me the inevitable, your getting really drunk and you probably won´t wake up football tomorrow morning, or if you did you won´t be able to move, or want to. So my bout of hiccups were quite violent but managable as they kept going away. Like some people. My involuntary bodily action was mirroring human thought and thinking. You know that person who is annoying but managable in small quantities. I think my hiccups have lots to tell the world. So I eventually finished it, 3 weeks later. It felt good to finish the challenge, or was that the beer talking. It didn´t feel good that I felt like I was going to die, or that I still had hiccups at this point and there was nothing humanly possible I could do about it, and it didn´t feel good that I wanted to do stuff that only drunked people do at this point, and that my companions weren´t anywhere near drunkedness, but beggars can´t choose who is or isn´t drunk when they are, so I couldn´t choose either as a result. I´m not saying Pauli is a beggar, at all. Well he´s had his hair cut since Christmas and everything, and I think he may of had a shave, so... So I was worse for ware shall we say. We walked around, and I found "Estambul", the place were dreams are made and sold, along with kebab in baguette with loads of "salad". I was happy, and the hiccups had gone somewhere, thank you. We then set out to find the bar Carolina took us to a few times, the one with the worst toilets in Spain, and good music, and comedy Spanish people singing English lyrics, well i say singing but making simlar noises at the right times is more accurate, I suppose I sound equally stupid singing there songs, thats why I don´t. So I was trip leader, group leader again. I thought I knew where it was, but the alcohol was blurring my usually clear thoughts, and we walked round for ages. I eventually finished the kebab, then lost all hope of finding this bar. At this point I saw no ligth at the end of the tunnel, and I wanted to play football. The hiccups decdided that it would be a really good time to come back and bug me some more. They were outstaying there welcome. I decided it was time to go home, sleep it all off. I told Pauli and then I was on my way. I waved at loads of cars, they waved back. I realised I was not actually at a taxi rank so I walked to one and went home, hiccuping all the way. Drinking is not big and clever, especially when it comes in litre glasses, ok? If your wondering the hiccups do continue, I have got them now, maybe I´ll have them forever, a heard a story once about a women who had them for 32 years, all her life. She said she was used to it, no problem. I hope that person isn´t me in thirty years. In three days I will be saying "hiccup, shoot me, hiccup, shoot me, hiccup". Without a doubt. Anyways, that´s enough. Turns out football wasn´t even on this morning, the tide was in, thats how water polo was invented I think. That´s the biggest problem when you play on the beach, that and the sand everywhere. But I guess it wouldn´t be a beach otherwise, who knows. I´m going back to bed.